why i haven’t written.

Welcome to Season Two of Dad in Plaid!

To the surprise of absolutely no one, I’m sure, I’ve been unable to update this blog since January 25. Instead, I’ve opted for frequent, brief updates on Facebook and occasional Instagram posts. In other words, I have been behaving like a normal person with an infant and cutting out any unnecessary distractions.

Rory is nine months old, and I feel like we’re finally settling in. He is a fairly predictable little guy, mostly abiding by a regular feeding schedule with few major complaints and sleeping through the night like a champ. His personality seems to expand exponentially every day. He is sweet, generous, goofy, and loving. He is also stubborn and a bit rebellious, and sometimes he clearly wants to be left alone. Sound familiar?

Here are some things that Rory can do at nine months:

  • Wave hello at our cats and express genuine disappointment and frustration when they don’t wave back.
  • Come so close to speaking actual words that he inspires debate over whether or not he’s spoken actual words.
  • Stand upright with increasingly minimal assistance.
  • Headbutt me and his mother as a sign of enthusiastic affection.
  • Dive off the couch when we’re not holding onto him properly.
  • Maintain a good or bad mood for an entire day, regardless of any immediate stimuli or changes in environment.
  • Laugh at me when I’m struggling to put him to sleep.
  • Crawl backwards, but not forwards, leading to frequent sisyphean struggles when he wants to get to a specific location. He is SO CLOSE to crawling though! Just in the past couple days, he’s been getting himself into crawling position, then lunging forward on his tummy, getting back up and lunging again. It’s an effective, albeit slow, means of getting across a room.

His major super power? Absorbing all our free time. And that’s why I haven’t written.

It took months for me to settle back into work and feel capable of operating without mental or emotional distraction during the day. The first day back was the hardest, by far. Hearing him cry from across the house and being unable to respond immediately was borderline torture. We talk about how mothers are especially in tune with emotions, while fathers are a little more distant and preoccupied with general safety and security. Nah. What really determines emotional connection to a child is how much time you spend with them. After two and a half months of 24/7 interaction with my baby, I felt about as tapped into his emotions and needs as humanly possible without actually entering his brain. Months later, I still feel that deep connection and it continues to be very difficult to pull myself away from him. I am grateful that I work from home and have the flexibility to build a schedule that allows for a few hours of quality time with Rory each day.

In this season of Dad in Plaid, I’ll be diving deeper into some thought-provoking subjects related to societal expectations for parents and how our plans might abide by or differ from the norm. I’ll also be talking about some lighter topics, providing some helpful top ten lists, and finally sharing the first music playlist that I created for Rory, based on recommendations from Facebook friends.

Have an idea for a topic you’d like me to cover? Feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments!


4 thoughts on “why i haven’t written.

  1. Glad to see your thoughts again. As someone who made the conscious choice to NOT have children, I’d love to see a future post from you about how non-parents can contribute to the lives of young people in community. How do you envision the “us” and “them” can find ways to better connect and relate? For example, how do you feel about individuals or couples who don’t have kids wanting to attend an elementary school fundraiser, or volunteer with youth sports?


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